i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
Penelope Cruz needs to learn American words.
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
I feel like there's no sexy way to pull 12 condoms out of your bra.
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
I am now gainfully employed. Parents, lock up your children.
Yay! Welcome to the world of "you're seriously trusting me with your kid?"
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