my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
Come here. I'm drunk. Family Function. Intense Pro-life vs. Pro-choice debate. Bring Republicans.
Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
Highlight of the day: got a bunch of drunks to sing baby shark.
Randomize