found an unmarked box of photos in the garage, they were from when my parents first got together. It was fun laughing at their ridiculous eighties outfits and hairstyles, until I found a pic of my dad. naked. with a boner.
quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
She just opened a six pack of corona with her car door ... I had no idea she was such a skilled drunk
The girl beside me at the laundromat is bitching a guy out on the phone for jizzing on her bedspread. She had to use a triple machine to wash it.
He brought me bullshit flowers and a bullshit apology. Even shrek did more than that for Fiona. And he's an ogre. Does this not say anything about him?
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
Randomize
