Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
its not stalking. its research.
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
I really gotta be careful. My email inbox is equal parts notifications from instructors and this dude's dick. If I get drunk and reply to the wrong thing I might get kicked out of grad school.
I asked for a steak knife but the waitress could see in my eyes it was a bad idea
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
It's all part of my master plan: have him buy me all I can eat pizza and all I can drink beer AND THEN tell him there was no spark and we're better off as friends.
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
You’re a genius! I just walked in, shut the door, blew him and left. He could barely move afterwards and was a hot mess at the presentation. He already sent me a calendar invite for another meeting
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