Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
Literally just spent 45 minutes converting my paintball gun to shoot condoms....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Super stoned right now. And I stared at my exit, thought to myself "hey self. That is your exit" and I kept driving right past it.
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
Um that's okay I got up on the table at IHOP and terrorized the entire restaurant for a phone charger after I stole the whip cream from the kitchen and started eating it out the can
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