Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
I Pavlov-trained him by smacking him in the nuts anytime I caught him looking at another girl in public. To this day, he's afraid to break eye contact with me in a restaurant if a tall busty blonde walks in.
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY. I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO DRIVE 3 HOURS FOR BIRTHDAY SEX.
Randomize
