Did you read the article making fun of the right wing extremists? How they organized this 'tea party', and to propagate it they would mail teabags to their senators? And it became a verb...they had posters saying 'teabag obama!' yeah...
A message to Mrs Obama perhaps?
I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
so my daughter wakes me up this morning and i feel like a vibration so im thinking she has my phone..nope my vibrator
We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
I don't understand how she could dump me AFTER we had shower sex. I'm fucking great at shower sex
that's like... drinking popov and saying its the worlds best vodka. you gotta try some others first. THERE SHOULD BE A MISS AMERICA PAGEANT. but like, mr penis. and they can do tricks and make unintelligent remarks and wear sparkly condoms.
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
I need to sanitize my soul.
Randomize
