basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
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