where does the pee come out of this thing
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
I'm covered in pickle juice. Why do you people leave me alone?
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
You tried to put a condom on my dog, then he ate it.
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
Wedding party came into the bar an hour ago. Mother of the bride is a stage five clinger. send help.
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
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