Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
Oh shit
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
I'm way too sober and people are way too heterosexual
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
My new gym is popular with trophy wives. They’re talking about yachts and plastic surgery
Learn their secrets! I want to meet men with Maseratis. The meat heads and Mustangs scene is getting old
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