It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
You demanded I give you a glass of water, so I set it down in front of you and you knock it over and roll in it..,
I wanted to be a dolphin.
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
Randomize
