I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
PS: I just woke up from my shower
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
I mean I'm not saying I have my life together but I did just put nerds in a bottle of champagne and then drank from the bottle
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
Slowly dying because of my period and my phone is mocking me because I have 69% battery
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
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