watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
I'm going to knit you a pair of furry handcuffs. And you said that knitting class was dumb.
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
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