His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
You passed out in the bathroom with the door locked. Had to take a shit in your litter box. Don't worry, your cat buried it for me.
You didn't have enough money so you tried to convince the cashier that "four dollar foot long" rolled off the tongue better. Stop drinking. Immediately.
then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
I got unbelievably drunk yesterday, need some time off. Apparently pulling your balls out to make your buddy's girlfriend miss beerpong shots is frowned upon.
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
Randomize
