So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
One of my students just said I have "big mommy parts". Even third graders know that my tits are too big. God I love em.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
Dude this stripper just dry humped the settings off my phone. She earned that dollar
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She had a tattoo of Luke Bryan on her thigh and she made me waffles. Can I have two fiancees?
We broke up. And I told him he better give me my fucking star wars movies tomorrow. Priorities.
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
When you're as high as I am right now brushing your teeth is both magical and fucking terrifying
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