I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
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