A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
goodnight i made you a song goodbye
Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
Jesus horatio Christ I forgot my mittens and am considering shoving my hands down the pants of the first semi attractive man I see
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
Like every two minutes he would pull out and whipser "don't you do it, you bastard" while looking at his penis. His new name in my phone is 'penis whisperer'
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