I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It feels like my uterus is trying to crawl out of my ass wearing cleats. And yourself?
There should be a company that sends nadgrams. They're like candy grams except the recipient gets kicked in the balls.
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
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