If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
I woke up this morning and thought "Im sure I've seen this house in a porno" and instantly googlemapped myself
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
The only way that night could have gotten any better would be if a unicorn would descend from the heavens with a nacho bell grande in a bag around its horn beat boxing Hakunah Matata.
Well, I made it all the way to the gas station. And from there, I begged a cab driver who was parked outside, to give me a piggy back ride the final 2 blocks to my apartment. I wasn't in the cab. Didn't have to pay. Drunk me is smart, and very lazy.
please remind me of this if i ever start out a night declaring my goal is to see how much american honey it takes for me to forget who i am again
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
Tell me I'm drunk and you have to come get me. It's usually true. They'll believe you.
woke up with a tree in my apartment. also the everclear bottle is suspiciously low
suspiciously? i think one of those explains the other
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