you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
Fuckin' raining men in my bedroom while I'm trying to drunk eat a rather large portion of pasta. Like shoo I already picked who I'm sleeping with. Pasta wins.
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
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