I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
Only a mothe r could love this liver
My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
"It's not a date, we're just spending the entire day at a concert and then getting high together." Awesome.
You have found the Promised Land of friend zones
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
Couch. On fire.
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