You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
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It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
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She just opened a six pack of corona with her car door ... I had no idea she was such a skilled drunk
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
He gave us beer and shots and made us pizza in his brick oven before firing a handgun into the air to signal it was time to give us a ride in his inflatable raft to the bars.
He's like a mythological figure
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