gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
genius alert. I just invented a contraption made of toilet paper and rubber bands that makes it so your balls don't stick to your leg when you wake up from sleeping. I call it, The Balldozer
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
sarcasm needs its own font
Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue."
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
Randomize
