Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
i remember you telling me to take a shower, brush my teeth, go get back in bed w her, and "just do what i was born to do." and as soon as i stopped yacking i did just that. you saved my birthday.
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
Next time I feel awkward in a situation I'm going to just yell "free bird!!!!" Like some redneck at lynyrd skynyrd show
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
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