haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
u ever jackoff with ur legs spread and pretend ur fuckin urself as a girl and get mad u'll never know what that feels like. Or to fly like a bird?
Did u absorb a fraternal twin in the womb?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
I just found a bag of teeth...
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
Randomize