It's Friday. Sex?
He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
Apparently I came into our room and told her that there should be a zipline from our window to Walgreens so that I could get chicken noodle soup
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
I just puked in a chili’s bathroom... happy birthday to me
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
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