We named our party play list daddy issues
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
Things I love twice as much when drunk: Taco Bell. Office chairs that roll. Classes.
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
Just realized I've spent more nights sleeping on bathroom floors the last two weeks than in my own bed. It's time to reevaluate my life.
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
Randomize
