he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
I don't have any food so I made a martini so I could eat the olives. Don't tell me I can't think outside the box.
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
Randomize
