The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
Ryan Howard.... the only guy who struck out more than me this weekend
woke up with food on the counter from chipotle, taco bell, green cactus, and on the border take out. explain?
you were trying to get this Spanish chick to sleep with you. you were showing her how much you "loved her native food."
I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
My brother slept till 4, bought a sword, got drunk and sharpened said sword. I went to corporate compliance training. Life is not fair.
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
Randomize
