i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
Upside of a two-day migraine: thanks to a prominent "E" in the middle of every pill, I think we can totally pass off Excedrine Migraine as ecstasy to stupid, drunk freshman. This is totally going to happen. That entrepreneurship course is paying off.
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
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