no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
Went to put my shoe on and asked myself why I left a sock in it. I didn't. Needless to say I found our used condom.
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
Randomize
