your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
It's ok that you're screwing someone else while trying to get back with me, I'm banging three girls while I ignore you.
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
Did you pee in the oven last night??
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
Randomize
