so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
Someone sent me a drink from across the bar. It was water.
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
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It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
Next Halloween I want us to dress up as jockeys, get drunk, and ride a carousel all night until we throw up or declare a winner
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
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Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
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