ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
everybody makes mistakes
i didn't know they allowed you to text in ambulances
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
Randomize
