was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
Pro tip: if you can avoid puking on your carpet, do so. Cleaning it up is absolutely no fun at all.
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
Did you leave it the depths of Magic Mike's favorite banana hammock?
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
I’m pregaming Christmas shopping with grandma. What’s up?
Randomize
