Wow.. I was doing a mental check of my bank balance & I literally just said to myself: 'I have 27 dollars and a bottle of tequila til tuesday-ill be fine'
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
And my parents said I crawled through the house
I tried to think of the best possible thing I could do for my 30th birthday, and the finalist is "get a clit ring"
She made me pour olive oil on her.
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
when your dumb AF ex “accidentally” venmos you $50 and texts you asking for it back..... —sorry I accidentally deleted your number and cashed out
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
