Dude, I woke up in the middle of the night and your room mate was just standing there at the foot of the bed, watching us sleep.. you don't remember me shaking the shit out of you to tell you this?!
This could explain the reason why I've been finding his clothing and keys scattered in random parts of my room..
AND THIS DOESN'T WORRY YOU?!
Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
Barsexuality is the new black.
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
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