You're completely useless in the revolution.
i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
I need you to know that everytime my toddler does the downward facing dog in the nude I think about the night you and your dude fell in love.
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
Randomize
