shit is crazy. i just keep thinking that this kid growing inside Emily used to live in my balls.
Just found out that I was singing john legend songs as I threw up last night. Quality.
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
Can I use you as a job reference? Don't tell them i got you fired cause I banged you tho
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
Randomize
