I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
the number of months ive had a girlfriend in my life divided by the number of blowjobs ive gotten is extremely depressing...
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
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