operation have a gay friend backfired
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
Every time I download Tinder again, I hate myself a little more.
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
Did I see you at the bar last night?
Yes. You just kept grabbing my boobs and saying how much better they are than yours...
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
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