Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
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