I just woke up to crumpled tissues everywhere. Looks like it was another night filled with tears and semen.
I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
I was wondering if I fell or perhaps got hit by a truck, then I remembered, it's cause I did a splits contest at the bar
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
Randomize
