no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
it's a shame restraining orders have to come between me and my relationships
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
She just opened a six pack of corona with her car door ... I had no idea she was such a skilled drunk
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
I think I'm allergic to vodka. Or people getting engaged. One or the other. I want to die.
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
FYI you are now my emergency contact at plan parenthood
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
Randomize
