More tranny stories later!
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
You couldn't find your shoe so you introduced yourself as Cinderella for the rest of the night.
Ahh that explains the text from creepy mike saying he would be my prince charming.
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
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