I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
I'm a teacher who's always telling kids about the importance of due diligence, yet I'm eating an avocado out of a coffee filter because I'm too lazy to wash dishes
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