New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
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