Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
Someone keeps hanging up bible verse posters in the bathroom stall I masturbate in at work.
Stop trying to get me to choose vodka over a nap
Randomize
