How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
You were so drunk, you called my cruise control, the "auto pilot" and asked my car politely to take us to Taco Bell.
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
Ever had one of those went so hard last night you woke up at the foot of the bed naked wondering where your phone ended up?
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
Randomize
