Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
We ran out of wine so we are trying the absinthe you brought over from Spain like 3 years ago. Please call me at noon tomorrow. If we die, its your fault
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
I feel like I should pray to the god of Febreze, because it is like it washes away the smell of all my sins from the bed
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
Randomize
