he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
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With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
I was barred out and drunk as fuck locked out at 3am in my Indian costume. It was literally freezing outside. I laid down on the concrete and made a bonfire with dry leaves. Then proceeded to ask.the.bonfire nicely to "please dont go out". Drunk me went strait up survival mode.
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
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In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
"can you come pick me up from the ikea parking garage i think i slept here"
I woke up, topless, my car was parked funny so I threw on my hoodieto go fix it and found a jello shot in my pocket. where did I go last night?!
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
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