I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
Hi I am too sober and out of rum. Translation: I owe you some beer. Also, get better taste in beer.
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
At the ER. John needs stiches. Fuck pub trivia nights.
Just sitting at dinner with my dad...simultaneously texting "daddy" to confirm saturday's spanking and telling another guy to get condoms before Im done with dinner. Don't know when I got so ate up but I'm loving it. You?
Regretting asking you what you were doing.
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
Found someone cuddling with my Uggs this morning. Guess the hundred pillows laying next to him weren't good enough.
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
Randomize
