It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
No, I'm in the bathroom trying to scrub off the 16 tally marks on my wrist so its not so obviously to the world that I puked on a couch last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
As girls, Bert & Ernie are not very bangable costumes. At least not by who we'd want to get banged by.
I was kidding. But I promise you I'd still find us the most eligible bangables, even if we dressed up like a dumpster and a prom night baby.
Recently successful and happy relationships are at an all time high now that you are no longer fucking so many peoples girlfriends. You alone have changed the mating patterns in the lower half of our county.
You need to stop relating my life to your schoolwork. But tell my girlfriend that she'd be proud.
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
The 3 year old I'm babysitting is the first guy to tell me he loves me sober in like 2 years
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
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