my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
This is to remind you the pizza is in the dishwasher birthday boy eat it before it goes on
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
He was having this drunk emotional breakdown and I was just trying to cheer him up but instead fell and dumped the whole pickle jar on me
It was cool though because he was fine afterwards and somehow I convinced them I did it on purpose...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
I mean, he’s listed as “Andrew DC Threesome” in my phone. THATS HOW I REMEMBER HIM! How is that not the start of a fairytale?
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
Randomize