I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
In the airport and just saw a little boy put his head in his mother's crotch... I guess he took a whiff because he backed up and said loudly, "mommy your pee-pee is stinky!"
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
Seriously, you can't give someone's wife an orgasm on the dance floor of a gay nightclub and then hang out with her husband the following week
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
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