Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
Apparently you make a good broom.
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
Well my door is unlocked for you, I'll be in the bathtub drinking a pre-mixed bottle of margarita until I forget the degree to which my life sucks.
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
Pretty sure one of my drivers stopped to get laid while he was delivering a pizza. Is it appropriate to give him a write-up AND a high-five?
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
Randomize
