I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
Then this bride walked into the bar, she thought it would be a good idea to hug her & then she started playing parachute with her train.
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
I'm drinking coffee out of a pasta sauce jar and eating fruit soaked in Smirnoff. I think I've hit rock bottom.
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
Randomize
