i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
the cop didnt laugh with me when he patted me down and pulled out my flask.
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
I'm literally about to create a tinder account. Just so someone drives me to get food.
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
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