it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
I'm at work, still drunk. Can you turn on the radio? If the station goes off the air I passed out. Can't get fired. Haven't slept yet.
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
Every single person in NY is either baking, drinking, or photographing their cat. Reporting live from Instagram.
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
Randomize
