I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
Well douche your snatch and let's go!
So I just walked in on one of our neighbors having sex...on our couch.
WHAT?!
He apologized for staining our couch, then asked if he could make me a drink. Pretty sure he was still inside her while we were talking.
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
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