There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
Hungover at Subway, watching a business guy try to squeeze his way past my car to get into his. Bitch shouldn'ta parked over the line.
You truly are a temple of morality.
I am the night, I am justice, I am currently watching the fat biz guy pay a frat boy to back his car up for him so he can get in.
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
Randomize
