Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
you thought that fire hydrant was a midget...you gave it a hug and asked for a lollipop.
I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
Did you send me a cake saying 'Happy 1st One-Night Stand Ever'?
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