Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
He looked me in the chest and said "I think I was visited by the titty fairy last night"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
As your boyfriend, I'm gonna congratulate you on winning that fist fight. But as a cop, I have to tell you to not do that again.
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