i'm only drinking out of pineapples from now on.
So, we're in the car ready to fuck and she asks about my ex. I wave at my lap and say, "bye". She asks what I'm doing. I say, "waving goodbye to my erection"
Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
I'm so fucking pissed that I wasted my shooting star wish on him and his little penis.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I unwillingly was the ball between four hungry hippos last night. I thought the one chick was actually going to eat me
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
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