Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
If you asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be today, I can pretty much guarantee I wouldn't have replied with "buying hemorrhoid cream on Bourbon St at 7am"
Just face planted the stairs. Apparently Santa brought an extra step while I was at the bar... Fucking dick
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
Being high is definitely not the perfect addition to this family dinner. No. My grandma trips me the fuck out.
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